Nothing Pacific

I understand that every community has its own stereotype and that within that group are sub groups, for example the gay community with the ‘queens’, ‘Trannies’, muscle Mary’s, through to the bears. My issue is that these can sometimes do more harm than good to a group of people otherwise already highly criticised.

When I came out to my family as gay, my eldest brother feared I would be ridiculed and treated as a second class citizen and that it would restrict my ability to fully grow. I have been very lucky in my life and have never come across this too much personally and have been fortunate enough to progress through a career that most people my age would never even dream of.

This is done on an individual’s merits and should have not impact from what ’stereotype’ they are apart of. I am regularly told, “I would never have guessed you are gay your so ‘normal’” which I do take as offensive as I should not have to prance around like a fairy in order to be a successful gay man.

An example of the reason this happens is clear from an old friend of mine, I will call Mitch. They live in a typical western suburbs Sydney and play up to the ‘gay’ character so much that it is annoying, even to me. This would be fine under most circumstances as I have noticed that when large groups of stereotypes live/work/stay close together it is acceptable to live up to these supposed expectations. An example of this is just going to Auburn in Sydney’s Western suburbs where there are large Arabic communities, while to an outsider it may seem as though they are all over the top, locally it is expected. The same could be said for locations such as Kings Cross with the gay community, Cabramatta with the Asians and Penrith with the bogans.

Now I am fine and completely appreciate all of these mixes and find it interesting to visit these areas, but the concern I have is when my mentioned friend ‘Mitch’ who has not many gay friends plays over the top and almost uses it as a character. He has no real friends as they are all infatuated by he’s character rather then him, which happens constantly as he becomes closer to people they actually tend to find it all a put on.

It gets worse as he continues to play up to this, he has been struggling with he’s career, he has never had a relationship, and feels as though he has to match the persona displayed in popular media outlets of what ‘the only gay in the village’ must live up to. This madness must stop before someone gets hurt. He has regularly been threatened with physical violence and insists on being a victim because that is what is expected.

People need to learn that you do not have to ‘meet’ the stereotype set out for you, and infact it would be best if people were just themselves rather then trying to fulfil this instant decision to subject themselves to being something they are not.